DAVE BARRY TURNS FORTY — It's not easy to maintain a high Romance Quotient ... over long periods.... Even Romeo, if he had spent enough time under the balcony gazing up worshipfully at Juliet, would eventually have noticed her protruding nostril hairs.
| A. | Sound formed by syneresis, as the "oi" in "join" | DIPHTHONG |
| B. | Jacques Cousteau's invention of 1943 | AQUALUNG |
| C. | Derived from sulfuric acid; bitterly scathing | VITRIOLIC |
| D. | 1847 poem subtitled "A Tale of Acadie" | EVANGELINE |
| E. | Detailed plans; cyanotypes | BLUEPRINTS |
| F. | Winner by bribery of a classical beauty contest | APHRODITE |
| G. | Hockey position; conservatives (2 wds.) | RIGHTWING |
| H. | Where King John signed the Magna Carta | RUNNYMEDE |
| I. | Actor-singer in "The Wages of Fear" and "Z" (2 wds.) | YVESMONTAND |
| J. | Employed some nippers | TWEEZED |
| K. | Farthest point (2 wds.) | ULTIMATHULE |
| L. | Engage in horseplay | ROUGHHOUSE |
| M. | Descriptive of a working stiff's job (hyph.) | NINETOFIVE |
| N. | Bivalves with edible adductor muscles | SCALLOPS |
| O. | Beethoven's op. 77, for one | FANTASIA |
| P. | Divination through interpretation of dreams | ONEIROMANCY |
| Q. | Reddish-violet form of garnet | RHODOLITE |
| R. | Harmless-looking but destructive computer program (2 wds.) | TROJANHORSE |
| S. | Hit from 1934's "Anything Goes" (3 wds.) | YOURETHETOP |